Most important things about love you’ll learn from experience – Many people believe that we can only approve of a past relationship if we’ve gained knowledge in the process. The following is a list of ten things you will never learn or believe unless you experience them firsthand.
1. Once a thief… An old proverb states: Once a cheater, always a cheater. This is one painful lesson that you will almost certainly only learn through trial and error. How come? Unfortunately, every girl fantasizes about being a superwoman, believing she is the one who can tame the wild horse’s bad-boy ways. At first, it’s seductive; eventually, it’s frustrating. Simply keep in mind that if he cheated on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you with another woman.
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2. Having a mate does not resolve all of your issues. While suffering from depression or a simple case of the live blues, some people develop the mindset that if they could just be in a relationship, everything would be fine.
For instance, one obese woman once swore to me that once she lost all of her weight, she would be the happiest, most confident version of herself. Indeed, she eventually lost 80 pounds and achieved the body of her dreams. The only issue? Not only did she not feel thinner, but she also did not feel happier. The same is true of relationships. Simply having one does not mean that everything that previously bothered you about your life will magically vanish.
3. Puppy love is fleeting. This is something that the majority of people learn during their adolescent years. However, it is only with maturity that you realize that your partner’s lack of butterflies is not a bad thing. This simply indicates that you’ve progressed past an emotionally immature stage of your relationship and into something more stable and refreshing.
4. You are deserving of a better partner than an abusive one. No matter how badly you want a relationship to work, you will never succeed if you prioritize the relationship’s fate above all other concerns. Ignoring serious issues such as spousal abuse, drug or alcohol addiction, or mental illness will ultimately harm both parties and bring you no closer to happiness.
You may adore your partner, but if he or she is dealing with a serious problem and you are miserable on a daily basis, you must convince yourself that this relationship is not worth your time, energy, or tears.
5. Rebounds are infuriating, but they are necessary. Although this may sound harsh, dating someone before you’re ready is occasionally necessary in order to move on. There are those you date for fun, those you date for serious relationships, and those you date in between to prepare for your next great love. If possible, communicate to others that you wish to keep the relationship completely casual in order to avoid heartlessly injuring their feelings.
6. To love does not imply weakness. As a child, I believed that falling in love was a massive display of weakness. Saying “I love you” was a tedious game of who would “lose” first, rather than who would succumb to the wonderful feelings associated with giving your heart to someone.
To be in love, true love, means dedicating your entire being to something you believe in, and there is nothing weak about that emotionally, physically, or mentally.
7. Just because you love someone does not guarantee that the relationship will work. Regardless of how hard you try or how fiercely you love, there are times when you must admit defeat in a relationship. This is an extremely difficult situation to face, even more so if you still have feelings for someone.
However, as long as you gave the relationship the chance it deserved and made a sincere effort to save it, there is nothing more mature than admitting you are simply two people who are not compatible.
8. Are you more concerned with being correct than with being happy? If you are in a long-term committed relationship or are married, you are probably familiar with this one. Simply because you are correct does not mean you have to state it or fight to prove it every time.
In the end, all you will accomplish is to irritate your partner. Believe me, it’s not easy to live comfortably when you’re constantly touting your hat as the one who never does anything wrong.
9. You are not the center of the universe. There comes a time in a serious relationship when you realize that there is more to life than the two of you. Whether you realized this as a result of a traumatic event in your life, an illness, or simply the maturity that comes with age, it’s a liberating feeling to know that true love requires you to put your partner’s needs ahead of your own, assuming they would do the same for you.
10. However, there are times when it must be about you. However, if your partner does not treat you well, you will eventually learn that your emotional and physical health is more important than any happiness you may experience in a relationship. With time, you come to realize that you are more than being walked on or constantly made to feel bad about yourself.
Thus concludes a collection of thought-provoking love teachings that can only be gained through personal experience. Lessons and things to learn about love are often painful, and their effects can be long-lasting, but the teachings and wisdom they impart are well worth the discomfort.
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